dwelling

i still dwell in the past. the images and reruns of the incident run in my mind every hour of every day. i cant avoid it. its not the accident but the incident. it was a day that went really well but it just happened. i ... no its something i cant get over. someone once said to me any trouble you have is your fault. well its true. if it wasnt for my laziness or my bad judgement i would've have gotten into trouble. nor the other kid in trouble. i never stopped feeling terrible for what i have done and its kills me everyday. sometimes i want it to end. maybe it was ment for me to end it now. especially after i have lost almost everything else...