lonely

my brain hurts and no its not this stupid finals thing that is going on. everyone has this best friend, someone they can rely on, share ever damn secret each other has. what happened, who wronged you, who did it? Its one of those things I thought I had. I have cycled through so many friends, good friends and best friends, and its not that I'm a bad friend, am I? I have school, I have people who I think of as friends, a loving family, cousins included but why does it feel like I'm drowning in everything? Im afraid to tell those that don't know in anticipation they'll leave or laugh about me. Its one of the worst feelings in the world. not being able to tell anyone, to drown in a sea of thoughts, and slowly everyday I drown more.